NEIL: I can’t believe it’s going to be almost ninety degrees out today in the middle of April. This can only mean one thing: my entire family is going to call me. Why are families so obsessed with the weather? It’s like they sit there, waiting for the slightest change in it so they can bore us to death about it. I swear, the Weather Channel has got to be like hardcore pornography to them.
MR. WIGGLES: That would explain why they play smooth jazz on it.
-NEIL: Wait, you don’t think they actually—?
MR. WIGGLES: Oh yeah, your parents bang each other to it.