NEIL: My twin brother is coming to visit for a week. I hate when he's here, though, because then everybody asks me all those irritating twin questions.

MR. WIGGLES: I forgot you had a twin! So, do you ever dress the same? Do you have your own language? Who has the bigger penis? Can you read each other's minds? Have you ever pretended to be the other one? Which one's the good one and which one's the bad one? Have you ever secretly swapped sex partners? Can you feel what he feels?

NEIL: Only if he feels like hitting someone right now . . .